Once upon a time there lived a little girl. In her pre-teen years she was so skinny, so bony that her uncles always made fun of her saying she should carry a coin in her pocket to keep the wind from sweeping her off her feet and blowing her away.
In those years she looked like an ugly duckling especially compared to her much more attractive peers. Therefore, she was shy and timid never taking initiative and always staying in the shadow of her friends.
“Stop always being so shy?” – her friend once told her. And she really wanted to be braver, to be stronger and more confident. But how? Who could teach her? Because wanting it wasn’t enough although it was the first very important step in the creation of a leader.
What happened next was totally out of her control because her parents decided to move to a new place. And the complete change of the environment with new challenges, new opportunities, new friends, new foes who later became friends created an absolutely new environment which was detrimental in shaping her personality.
What really forms a good leader and shapes our leadership style? I chose three Cs for you: Choice, Challenge, Champion. The first and the most important C is – Choice, desire, intention. Do you want to become a leader, to become more confident, to take charge of your life and your environment.
It’s our choice. And we can totally do that. Don’t think that if you were shy in childhood and still not very active in your youth there’s no chance for you. This C is in your hands unlike the next one which is: Challenges, circumstances, problems.
They shape us. Most of the time we don’t control them and they form us without our permission. But as we all know, what doesn’t break us makes us stronger. Every new circumstance, every new challenging situation creates new pathways in our brain, hardens our character and build us as a leader.
The third C is Champion. This word as you know has several meanings: 1) a person who stands for a cause and believes in it, 2) a winner in sport or any other field.
When I say ‘champion’ I actually mean two things: first, it’s somebody who supports you as a leader, believes in you and encourages you to move forward. Second, it’s those people who are the best leaders in your opinion. Who do you take example from? It could be your boss, your friend or a well-known leader who you read about in a book or learned in school.
For me personally my two best friends became my champions. They were always an example of good leaders and at the same time they always believed in my leadership potential. Therefore, my leadership style was formed under the influence of these two people and of course other friends, a lot of books, movies and prominent figures of the world. I always loved strong leaders, visionaries who at the same time were able to pay attention to their people, show them love and care.
For example, Elon Musk and Steve Jobs are amazing leaders who can lead their companies to great success, but they were horrible with their employees. Unlike them, Richard Branson, Tony Robbins and Gary Vee are also strong, persuasive and successful, but at the same time they care about their people great deal, intentionally spend time with them, take interest in their lives and consider them their most valuable asset.
So, when we look at all people around us and champions in our fields, we consciously or subconsciously have our leadership style formed.
Now, let’s fast-forward almost 30 years. Our girl had already been in leadership for 17 years in a non-profit, had gone through a lot of training, even started her own company. Now she needs to close her second level of Toastmasters pathway, and give a speech on Leadership Styles. So, she takes an Assessment test and gets interesting results. Authoritative – #1 and Coaching – #2.
When I saw this result, I was stunned, seriously. What, authoritative? Me? But I’m such a people person, I’m not a dictator, I care about them. And then it dawned on me, authoritative is not authoritarian or totalitarian. Authoritative leadership style means having a vision and inspiring others to come with you and achieve it together, caching them along the way. So, phew, now it’s clear and it makes sense.
At the end I want to answer the critical question: Are leaders born or made?
